The Good Life Institute, LLC » Counseling for Couples, Individuals, and Families

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Self-care for everyone else

I realized that all my posting days recently have landed on holidays.  I was able to get to a few but not to all.  My excuse?  Taking care of myself on the holidays: being with family, playing with my children, thinking about nothing else but what was most important to me.  And, simultaneously, caring for those that matter most.

I read an interesting article the other put out by the Gottman Institute that discussed why our own personal self-care is essential to our relationships.  This particular article focused on taking care of yourself for your spouse.  When you are at your best, you are also at your best in your relationship.  When you fail to care for yourself, it is inevitable that you will stop caring for the relationship.

Let’s not get being selfish confused with self-care.  “Selfish” is having your needs as a priority at the expense of others.  Self-care is taking care of yourself in order to be fully able to care for those around you; to have the energy to give your best self all the time.  This sounds pretty essential for any and all relationships, doesn’t it.

The article shared focusing on taking care of your body, not losing weight, but really caring for yourself.  Eating good food.  Flossing.  Being active.  Wearing clean clothes every day.

It talked about taking care of your mind.  Learning.  Exploring.  Being interested.  Changing your thoughts.

The article also stressed taking care of your soul.  Being connected.  Dreaming.  Spirituality.  Feeling.  Being

I cannot stress the importance of self-care.  So often it is placed on the back burner.  People who are happy care for themselves.  Couples who are in love  care for themselves and each other.  Families that are thriving foster an atmosphere where each individual is allowed to care for his/herself and is cared for.

I know people are all about making some goals at this time of year and I’ll jump on that since it is a good time to reset and take inventory of what has been missing.  Think about where you are most unhappy and ask how you might take better care of yourself.  Remember, this is not encouragement to be selfish, but to really care about you.  I think that if everyone did a little more self-care, there would be a little less selfishness around.

Happy New Year,

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